Foaming like a Rabid Dog!

A few weeks ago I went to took a trip to Orlando Florida. My mom thought it would be good give me this roll of "Airborne Formula" tablets. (See image) They are supposed to protect you from all the germs that are floating in and around airplanes and such. I didn't take any on the way to Florida, I decided to take them on the way back. While waiting in the crowded terminal for the plane to arrive, I remember my mom telling me, "Put them in your water bottle and drink it down." I'm looking at the tablet and I'm like, no way I'm messing up my nice crystal-clear water.

So, I'm looking all over the tube for directions. There is none. So I open it up, pop two into my mouth. Instantly I notice a funny feeling in my mouth. Something bubbly. Something tingly. SOMEHTING NOT GOOD!!! OMG!!! THEY ARE FIZZING LIKE MAD!!!

I have never had a fizzing medication before. I mean we have all seen/heard of "plop-plop, fiz-fiz, oh what a relief it is" commercials. But I have never needed anything like that before. So now I had AN EMERGENCY in my MOUTH!!!

I have to think fast, while thinking I'm trying to gulp down the fiz as fast as it's making it in my moth. I'm failing, it's making more than I can handle. I'm trying not to make a scene, so I'm thinking, I'll just break them apart in my mouth so they dissolve faster. THERE IS ONE MAJOR PROBLEM WITH THAT!!! ... THEY DISOLVE/FOAM MUCH FASTER!!!

So some foam is leaking out the front of my mouth; I catch it ever so sly-like with my arm as I look for a napkin/tissue or ANYTHING in my bag. I'm in 'full panic/play it cool' mode. I don't want to draw a scene and have paramedics called and try to perform CPR on the foaming idiot so, I come up with another BRILLIANT PLAN! This one is bound to work!

The Plan: If I swallow some chunks of broken DEVIL tablets there won't be as much foam in my mouth. So I try it. WORST THING I COULD POSSIBLY DO!!! It turns out, they still foam down there in my stomach causing me to burp UNCONTROLLABLY!!! But not a normal soda burp but a GURGLY, thick-slimy BELCH!!! You can't help it! It's foaming in my tummy and I'm doing these nasty burps looking like a cat coughing up a hairball and FOAM COMING OUT MY MOUTH ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! I'm frantically trying to catch the foam that is EXPLODING out of my mouth onto a piece of itinerary while placing my headphones on looking like I'm spastically listening to music.

Luckily, 5 minuets later (felt like half an hour) The tablets finally dissolved all the way. It turns out I'm such a cool, smooth guy that nobody seemed to notice, or at least didn't confront me about my spastic, foaming, convolutions. Crisis, averted... Moral of this story, NEVER EVER EAT ANYHTING IN TABLET FORM. Or if you must, always put it in water first!

Hrm, maybe that's not the moral, but close enough.